


The Talk

by Plus1STR



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Cartinelli - Freeform, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plus1STR/pseuds/Plus1STR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard convinces Peggy to sit Tony down and give him "the talk".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [A Conversa](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827668) by [Rosetta (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Rosetta)



“Absolutely not.”

Peggy stares at Howard incredulously, folding her arms over her chest.

“Please, Peg? It’s not that bad.”

“Then do it yourself!”

“Not the best idea with my track record.” Howard rubs at the back of his neck and has the decency to look away.

“Why can’t Maria do it?”

“She asked me to do it.” He offers a sheepish smile, hoping to defuse the situation.

“Howard, I am not giving your son the talk.”

“C’mon. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“No.” Peggy drops her hands to her hips, sporting a stern expression.

Howard rubs at his moustache. “I won’t test any of my more volatile inventions in the SHIELD labs for a week.”

Peggy’s face softens. “A month.”

“Two weeks.”

“Three.”

“Two and a half.”

“Deal.” Peggy sticks her hand out; gripping Howard’s tightly when he connects.

“Hand! Hand!”

“Just so we’re clear, I won’t hesitate to strangle you should you go back on our deal.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Howard wriggles his hand free from Peggy’s, shaking his hand out.

“Geeze, don’t damage the goods,” he mutters as he marches away.

 

* * *

 

“Come, sit.” Peggy gestures to the empty seat in the study.

Tony settles himself down, sporting a cautious look.

“Where’s he going now?”

“Pardon?”

“Whenever the old man says you’re looking for me, it’s always to tell me he’s leaving again.” Tony shrugs and picks at his cuticles; oddly enough, it’s not a trait he picked up from either parents, but a trait he picked up from Angie. “Or he’s in the middle leaving and sends someone to distract me.”

Peggy sighs; she can scold Howard about his parenting skills later. “Nothing like that today, Tony.”

She pulls down the projector screen and clears her throat.

“Now, there comes a time in a person’s life where they develop certain… feelings towards another person.” She grimaces as the words fall out of her mouth. “And sometimes, one so desires to act upon those feelings.”

“Uh, Aunt Peg?” Tony hides a laugh under a cough.

“Do try to save your questions for later.”

“But -”

Peggy turns on the actual projector. The image of a bird and a bee appears. It would appear Mr. Jarvis took it quite literally when Peggy asked him to come up with some sort of imagery for her lesson to Tony. “As I was saying, sometimes one will act upon those feelings in a physical manner.”

"Aunt Peg, I really think -"

"Do let me continue, my dear. I'd much rather not need to do this again."

Tony purses his lips together tightly, his cheeks puffing up with bubbling laughter.

"As the boy -"

"Man."

"Right, yes. As the man, those feelings will be made apparent in -"

“Hey, Peg, where’s the –” Angie pauses in the room and stops mid-sentence. Her gaze flickers between Peggy and her uncomfortable expression, Tony with his trembling lip, and the image on the overhead screen. She puts a hand over her stomach and erupts into a fit of laughter.

“Gosh. The talk? Really, Peggy?”

“Howard asked that I do it. There’s nothing laughable about safe sexual encounters, Angie.”

“Oh, I know that.”

“Then what, might I ask, is so funny?”

Angie tosses Tony a knowing look and Tony snorts as his poker face finally breaks.

“Aunt Ang gave me this talk two years ago. I just wanted to see how far you’d go.”

Peggy puts her hands on her hips, turning her attention to Angie.

“What’d you tell him?”

Angie shrugs. “Don’t do anything Howard used to do.”

Tony nods along, giving Angie a thumbs up.

Peggy looks between the pair, narrowing her eyes. “I hate you both.”


End file.
